I had a M&P 40 and thought it was one of the best shooting pistol in 40 S&W. The felt recoil was like shooting a 9 mm IMO. With that said I got burned out of stocking ammo for every caliber that I owned. I understand that it was a gift and feeling icky about getting rid of it. Maybe just ask her if she minds you trading it for another pistol since both of you are not thrilled about the 40 S&W. Also Storm-Lake has a barrel conversion for the 40 S&W to 9 mm.