Shotgun Recommendation

Assuming you are limited to a shotgun, I would suggest a look at the Mossberg 500 in 12 gauge for the following reasons:

- a tang mounted safety makes it easy to look at the safety and confirm the safety position
- the tang mounted safety can be operated with the thumb or palm of the hand (gross motor skill) vs the index finger (fine motor skill)
- dual action bars make for a very solid action
- the release is in a more natural position than the 870
- the release can be operated without shifting the grip
- the magazine is 5+1, rather than 4+1 on Express and non-Police 870s
- bantam/youth stocks are easily found for the 500.

As to 12 gauge, I would agree the 20 gauge is useful but reduced recoil loads (like Federal Premium) are readily available for the 12 gauge. At the extreme end of recoil reduction, an OpSol and Aguila Minishells could be a good option.

Finally, I would ensure that your significant other actually handle (and fire if at all possible) the options before you select one.

(I would also suggest the AR is very capable and would likely choose it over a shotgun if given the option.)