Funnies

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Slade, Sep 28, 2016.

  1. Zeek

    Zeek Member

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    A drunk walks into a bar, orders a shot and and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. "Wha' my gonna do now? My wifez gonna kill me."

    "Relax," the bartender says, "give me a five-dollar bill." The bartender folds up the bill and puts it in the guy's shirt pocket. "Tell your wife some drunk puked on you and gave you five bucks to have your shirt cleaned."

    "Thass a great idea!"

    When the drunk gets home his wife answers the door. "Where have you been? What happened to your shirt?"

    He tries to put on a sober voice and says, "Relaaax honey, some drunk guy puked on me and gave me five bucks to have my shirt cleaned."

    The drunk's wife reaches in his pocket, grabs the money, and says, "There's $10 in here!"

    "Oh yeah, he sh!t my pants, too."
     
  2. IW17

    IW17 Member

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  3. Strigidae

    Strigidae Moderator Staff Member

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    It does look like a rabbit on skis.
     
  4. Bushman5

    Bushman5 Member

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    yea, thats what i thought too.....
     
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  5. Not Sure

    Not Sure Member

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  6. Nether

    Nether Member

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  7. Bushman5

    Bushman5 Member

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  8. IW17

    IW17 Member

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  9. The Warrior

    The Warrior Member

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  10. Bushman5

    Bushman5 Member

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  11. Bushman5

    Bushman5 Member

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  12. Redbear

    Redbear Member

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    Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?' The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'
     
  13. DiscoveryLover

    DiscoveryLover Member

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  14. STPNWLF

    STPNWLF Member

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    If at first you don't succeed, reload and shoot that S.O.B. again :eek:
     
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  15. Bushman5

    Bushman5 Member

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    one of m,y favorite comedians...
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2017
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  16. Zeek

    Zeek Member

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    Saw him live a couple times... good stuff !!!
     
  17. Bushman5

    Bushman5 Member

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  18. Bushman5

    Bushman5 Member

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    Big Cats and catnip..........



    part 2

     
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  19. vBlake

    vBlake Member

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    Penny for your thoughts... :p
     
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  20. DiscoveryLover

    DiscoveryLover Member

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    A Classic!

    [​IMG]
     
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