Was just looking for something French and found this, still a classic. I'm selling a French rifle, not bad, never fired - dropped once. Any takers? - I can trade it for a French army knife: Q: What is a Japanese flag without the dot? A: The French flag. Q:Why are there trees on the sides of French roads? A: So the Germans can march in the shade. Why are they cutting them down? Because the Arabs like to march in the sun. Q: Why do French ships have see-through floors? A: So they can see their Air Force.
A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor tells him, "You need to stop masturbating." The man asks, "Why?" The doctor replies, "Because I'm trying to examine you"
I'm late. Laughing, but late. Haven't had time for even half. (I'm watching Vikings, Season 1 -- behind there, too. -- but laughing.) I'll get caught up here, but at least I'm laughing
Esto es Ragnar. (PS: I posted that because Ragnar laughs a lot in the film series, but I couldn't find a good image of him laughing.) Not Ragnar, but same series with laughter.
A woman gets cheated on by her husband Devastated, she doesn't know how to continue to live her life. She heard that there's a very wise man named @Mike Perrin who lives up in a mountain, and decide to go there to consult him. After few days of traveling, walking, climbing, she reach the top and meet the wise man. "I have spent my whole life with him, my youth was dedicated to support him, take care of him. And now he left me with a young women. My life is stolen, and I'm left with nothing. I don't know what to do". The man gives her a cookie and asks her to eat it. After she finishes eating, he ask: "Is the cookie delicious?" "Yes"- she answer. "Do you want another one?" "Sure, please". The man look her in the eyes and said "Do you see the problem now?" The woman thinks for a while, and then slowly speak. "I guess human nature is greedy. You got one, then you want more, maybe a new one, bigger one. It's never enough. And nothing lasts forever, anything is impermanence. We should be aware and not disappointed for that". The man shake his head "No, I mean you are too fat, you should eat less."
@Stone Epic show. My wife and I are eagerly anticipating the next season. Last year, my family and I went to Rome. We had just walked in to the Vatican when my wife said she had to use the restroom. So while she stepped away to find the facilities, the kids and I waited in Saint Peter's square for her, admiring the architecture. My two older boys were snacking on sunflower seeds and peanuts, dropping the shells all over the ground, and Olaf the Crib Midget kept trying to climb one of the statues, throwing a tantrum when I'd pull him down and tell him to quit. On her way back from the john, she saw the pope walk up to me, make the sign of the cross over me and the kids, then walk away. Mrs. Jeeter was impressed that I met the pope, and came running over to ask about it. "You met the pope. That's so cool. What did he say? Did you and the kids get a Papal Blessing." "No, I didn't get a Papal Blessing," I said. "He pointed at me, then shells on the ground, and then at Olaf climbing the statue and said, "You! Pick up that mess! Get your other kid! And get out of here!""
A priest, a rabbi, a preacher and an atheist walk into a tavern. Each orders a drink of choice: lager, ale, wine & IPA, in no particular order. Then, they reorder, but this time, they mix it up: each drinks a different round. <recursion> -- I'll be back another day with the punchline.
